I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
