U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
