I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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