that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
