White coat. Heels.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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