At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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