I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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