ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize