I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
