Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize