Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
