We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
