East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
