WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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