So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
