Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We got so high we made milksteak
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize