You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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