Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
