he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
