this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
