Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
