I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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