so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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