thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
