I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize