Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize