her vagine was all disorganized.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
