I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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