I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
