The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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