How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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