I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
