your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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