24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
