I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
