I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
