You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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