another moral hangover. fuck.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
