Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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