it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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