i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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