My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
