You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
