This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
