so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
