i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
