I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize