Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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