So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there was a trapeze. enough said
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
