need another drink. this is the easiest way
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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