there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize