i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize