Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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