I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
