Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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