It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
