the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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