Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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