You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think your dad took our porno
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drunk is not a location!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize