and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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