Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
