i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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