I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
