I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
