I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
