I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
